Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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