1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
