he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
