that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
