I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
