I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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