My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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