you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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