why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
