I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
