No stitches, just platelets and will power
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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