My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I currently don't understand fingers.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
