During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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