I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
is wine microwaveable?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
