Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
