we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
