one two three fourrrrnication!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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