the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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