non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
