Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
