My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
