i barfeds in our rink
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
