That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
