When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
