ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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