He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
