Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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