I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
