he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
