Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
