omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
