i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
