I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
