4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
