let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
