brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize