cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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