i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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