me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
