If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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