UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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