Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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