ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
