i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
