i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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