1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Your cock deserves a montage
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So vagazzling was a success
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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