Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize