They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
