This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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