she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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