Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
this will be a night to untag.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
