i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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