Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
accomplished twins. life is a go
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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