i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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