carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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