So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
