I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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