At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
