I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
