so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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