She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
