Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
